Have you seen the Real Age calculators? Basically, it seems that we can calculate our real age by factoring in things like smoking, diet, exercise and medical history. The goal is to keep your real age as low as possible. Apparently, staying "young" is the key to good health and longevity.
Well, I've been thinking about this real age test, and feel it really does Awesome Cancer Survivors a serious injustice. We get better as we age, not as we force our "real age" to a more youthful number. As cancer survivors, each passing year adds to our collective strength and overall health. In sharp contrast to the Real Age, a higher Cancer Age is a true status symbol! To address the Real Age test's shortfalls, I'm rolling out a new test. It's called the Cancer Age AssessmentTM.
This assessment will reward cancer survivors with their true Cancer Age! Your Cancer Age reflects the pain, anguish, and sheer guts it took for you to battle cancer and continue on as an Awesome Cancer Survivor. As awesome cancer survivors, we've all experienced more in our lives than most people. Your Cancer Age lets everyone know that you are a super hero!
Take the Assessment!
Write down your Current Age: ________________________
If you've never had cancer, subtract your current age from your current age. You're at 0. Please stop here. Your cancer age is 0. There are no prizes for you.
If you've had cancer, please continue.
Add 5 to your current age for each cancer diagnosis.
If you were diagnosed with Cancer before 18, add 100.
If you were diagnosed with Cancer between 18 and 50, add 10.
If you were diagnosed with Cancer after 50, add 5.
If you had Chemo, add 25.
If you still remember the names of all your chemo drugs, add 10.
If you lost your hair going through chemo, add 20.
If you had Radiation, add 20.
If you had surgery for cancer treatment, add 10.
If your oncologist attended your wedding, add 20.
If your pharmacy is on speed dial, add 5.
If you like MRIs, subtract 20.
If you have copies of all your medical records, up to date, add 25.
If you don't have any of your medical records, subtract 10.
If your primary care physician takes your calls on the first ring, add 10.
If you've redecorated the oncology waiting room because it was looking a little drab, add 50.
Results:
Add up your score and arrive at your Cancer AgeTM.
1-50 - Congratulations, you're an Awesome Cancer Survivor! Welcome to the club. You're on a path to becoming a truly empowered survivor.
51 - 1000 - WOW! Not only are you an Awesome Cancer Survivor, you're a true old soul. You're a sherpa, guide, expert, and treasured resource for other cancer survivors. You've battled cancer with grace, wit, charm, and alot of grit and perserverance. You have an ability to reflect on the past and see great possibilities for the future. You live each moment to the fullest and you're making sure that everyone around you lives the same way. You see beauty in all things and truly live a life with a happiness that aches. Without you, the cancer survivorship landscape would be a lonely place. Thank you for all you do! I'd climb a mountain with you!
1000 + - Your score is off the charts! Please contact me immediately, I think there's a clinical trial out there somewhere specifically for you. Seriously. Call me right now!
Proudly display your Cancer Age on your site! Want the Cancer Age badge - let me know. Leave a comment and tell me your Cancer Age!
